Breaking the Cycle of Procrastination
EGW GLOBAL MAGAZINE
WELLBEING
That oh-so familiar feeling of needing to get something done but feeling so much resistance to *actually* doing it. So, you put it off for tomorrow, you distract yourself with other tasks, or perhaps find yourself doing unproductive or even destructive behaviors instead. Bottom line, the task that needs to be completed doesn’t get done, and the more time that passes, the more stressed you feel, and the bigger the resistance to doing it.
It’s a vicious cycle of self-sabotage that you watch yourself indulge in, and yet can’t seem to stop. It shows up at the most in-opportune times, throwing you off course. When it comes to your career or your business, this pattern of procrastination can have very real consequences.
However, when we dive a little deeper into the inner workings of the mind, we can start to see this destructive cycle in a new light. We can come to a new understanding of what procrastination is, and with that, how to overcome it.
If we break down procrastination, we can see that it’s a simple conflict happening within ourselves. It’s easy to see that part of you wants the task to be completed, yet another part of you is feeling resistant. A typical response to this resistance is to become forceful. We try to force ourselves to do the task, thinking we can push that resistant part of us to comply. Yet, all this does is create more resistance. It’s as if the harder we push, the more it pushes back.
Yet, that seems to be our only plan. We push and force, and push and force, until maybe the stress of a deadline approaching finally sends us into action. Or perhaps, until we give in and decide it’s not important, letting ourselves off the hook. Either way, it’s not the outcome we’re hoping for.
I want to invite you to imagine these two opposing parts of you: the resistant one and the pushy one. Perhaps you could even create a visual representation of each in your mind or on a blank sheet of paper. Then, perhaps you can begin to mediate this conflict.
You could start with the pushy one. What would that pushy part say if it had the space to be heard? Perhaps it would go on about why it’s important to get the task completed. Or maybe it would express its frustration with the resistant one. Imagine giving this part of you the floor, listening to it’s concerns and its priorities until it’s shared with you everything it wants to say. You could write these down as notes on your page.
Once the pushy one has said everything it needs to say, imagine turning to the resistant one and allowing it to share what’s on its mind. Remind the pushy one not to butt in and give the resistant one a safe space to be heard. Too often when we have these inner conflicts, we are quick to label one part as ‘good’ and the other as ‘bad’. For this exercise, I want you to try to remain neutral. Afterall, these are all simply parts of you, and making them bad only fuels the conflict.
When you give the resistant one the space to share its concerns and its thoughts, notice what it shares with you. Regardless of what comes out, try to hold a compassionate space for its feelings. If the pushy one tries to come in and invalidate it, simply escort it out so that the resistant one can be heard without judgement.
You may notice that it takes some time for the resistant one to communicate. This could be that it’s been shut down so often before. If at first all you get is that it doesn’t want to do the task, hold a compassionate space, and simply explore the reasons why it feels that way. What you may find is that there is a lot more to the story than you’ve been aware of. Perhaps this resistant one feels completely overwhelmed with the other tasks that need to be done and can’t handle one more thing. Or perhaps there’s something about this task that triggers fear or shame. You may find that it doesn’t share much at first, and if that’s the case, that’s okay. However, you may find that with a little compassion and some room to breath, you can dive a lot deeper into the reasons behind the resistance.
When you learn about the real reason behind the resistance, it’s best to hold compassion for that part of you, even if you feel its reasons are not logical or rational. Remember, this part of you has been shut down for a long time, and it deserves to be heard.
After some time, you may decide to introduce the pushy one back in. Mediating the communication between the two so that there is no judgment or blame is important. It may feel like the pushy one has more compassion for the resistant one than before, now knowing more of the story. It’s helpful to find common ground between the two of them; perhaps you could inquire about the deep desire they each hold for you. You may find that they both want the same thing for you: to be happy and content. They simply have very different ideas about how to achieve happiness and contentment.
You might even find that after some compassionate communication, these two parts of you realize they could actually be on the same team, instead of fighting and judging each other. And if you were able to get them to agree to work together, perhaps you could help them find a way to achieve their joint desire for you. Perhaps there needs to be compromise, or a new strategy in place so that each part feels seen and heard.
If you’ve gone through this exercise, you may come out of it with a new perspective of procrastination. You may find a greater sense of compassion for the parts of you involved, and even a deeper sense of understanding. This is what happens when we go within. Problems that feel completely impenetrable become easier to move through. Patterns that feel automatic or absentminded become clear.
I invite you to see more of yourself with compassion. A lot of the problems we face stem from self-judgment and a lack of compassion. If you’d like to dive more deeply into these topics or any other issue that you’re facing, feel free to reach out and book a free consultation on my website. Continue to communicate with these two parts of you to continue to create harmony within. Good luck!
